May 2011

In May last year, I had one of the bloody scariest days of my life. I was in McDonald's with my friends Jess, Alan and Matt. We were in the upstairs seating area and it was deserted. Having our Big Macs, as usual, and just laughing and being carefree young things. All of a sudden, a group of five boy come up the stairs. Trousers halfway down their legs and arses hanging out. Beanie hats on over shaved heads. They looked scary as the slouched along and gave us these horrible looks because, oh sorry, we're normal middle class teenagers who actually pronounce our T's.


Unfortunately, dear Jess could not stop staring at them with what the hell blatantly written across her face. So much that they came over. This one in a batman tshirt stood right over us and said "what ends you from?". We actually just sat there like man, what is happening? And then he was like "you deaf? What ends you from?". And still, we sat there in silence. So I was like "Um, where we're from? Er, England". Like, what am I actually supposed to say? He'd probably have beaten me up if I wasn't a girl. He said as much. So they went and sat back down and we were sitting there like, God God God, what do we do?!


We were actually just about to leave when they came back over. Jess had her BlackBerry out and they tried to rip it out of her hands. Then the guy was like to Matt, "you gonna let me treat you bird like that?" and Matt was like "um yeah". This guy was totally looking for a fight and was getting so angry while we just sat there suppressing giggles. And then he started swearing loudly. So I said "I think it's time to go, don't you guys?" and Jess said, "Yep, I think it's time to go" and Alan said "Mhm, time to go!". So we got up and absolutely legged it down the stairs. We'd reached the bottom and were all like "Shit, where's Matt?!"


We ran back up the stairs and he was actually cowering in a corner as this batman guy took off his belt and starting whipping Matt with it. So crazy. Looking back now, I cannot stop laughing. Honestly, this is one of the things that gets me cracking up by myself all the time. But it was so freaking scary at the time. We were all like "RUUUUN!" and sprinted out onto the highstreet. We told the manager quickly before we went and he said he would beat them up if he had to, to get them out, haha. And all ended well.